From Bob Castleman at Bob's Bizarre Brain Bazaar comes this post.
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This is my contribution to the voices of autism.
My experience with autism is quite atypical. The standard progression
through the challenges of autism starts with a diagnosis in early
childhood. Therapies, special education, and a host of aggressive
interventions are applied to "set free the child trapped inside" by
communicative barriers and behaviors that impede learning and
socialization. But some of us on the spectrum fall through the cracks.
We don't fit the profile of the stereotypical autistic. We end up going
it alone.
You might be thinking "Really? You expect me to believe a person with
autism can go through life and no one even know it?". Not possible, you
say. Someone with autism can't function in this world without
assistance.
Part of answering this conundrum is knowing that some people with autism
are wicked smart. As in miles above normal. But this intrinsic
intelligence is imbedded in a consciousness that conspires to suppress
its expression. An exquisitely active mind lies behind deficits in
communication and social skills that render the outward presentation of
such a person as nothing short of remarkably average.
I am one such autistic. I was not diagnosed with autism until late in
life. Not until after high school. After attempts at attending
university. After marriage and three children. And after many many years
of frustration.
The "trick" to my survival is that even though I have perceptual
difficulties; even though I have significant gaps in my capacity to
understand social cues and body language; even though I have serious
deficits in executive functioning; I have been able to leverage my
native intelligence sufficiently to build a workable model of reality.
One that gets me through life even if my life is not triumphantly
successful.
But having said all that, it is often astonishing to me that, while I am
outwardly "almost normal" (I'm regularly called strange, odd, weird,
etc), I find that my internal states and thinking patterns resonate far
more harmoniously with the descriptions by severe autistics using
various forms of assisted communication. It is very disconcerting to
read something written by an autistic living in an assisted living
setting, someone that cannot function in "normal" society, and
understand EXACTLY what they are describing. It is unnerving to find
that my true compatriots are actually those that this society calls
"abnormal", "dysfunctional", "impaired" and "disabled".
So what's my point?
Simply this. If you truly want to understand autism, you need to broaden
your scope. You need to look beyond the Hollywood characters like
Rainman. You need to look at the entire range of experiences, the full
breadth and depth of the autistic spectrum. You need to talk to people
like me that are in a unique position to bridge the gap between those
autistics that cannot speak (but I guarantee have far more active minds
than you might think) and those, like myself, that can articulate and
describe the cognitive maps of the autistic mind. And after talking to
people like me you need to revisit all of your assumptions about that
person with autism that you think you know. If you can allow it, you
will be astonished what you will find within us.
Talk to us. It is why we have Autistics Speaking Day. Choose to learn
about us. Don't tell us what we are. Listen to us as we speak.
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