They Were Wrong

They Were Wrong
By Tagm

I want to let you in on something that took me a while to learn. And just like any advice from some random individual in the world, it might might not apply to you in particular. But I hope it does. People tell you a lot about autistic individuals, I find. There's a lot of overlap in the mainstays, so to speak - you know. Autistic people have trouble in social situations. They don't get when people are frustrated or unhappy or some such. They don't get metaphors and sayings. They need to stim all the time. You've likely heard others, but they're the ones that come off the top of my head. And I want to tell you what I figured out, after a while of experimenting: They were lying. Well, lying may be the wrong word. It implies deliberate action, doesn't it? Like they (the nebulous 'they') were purposefully trying to hold you down. I don't think that's what happens, for the most part. Certainly some people would prefer the Autistic and Asperger's individuals to keep quiet and fade into the night, but I think a great majority genuinely think that above stuff is true. And they were wrong. Not to say that it doesn't have a grain of truth - if you're autistic, then it WILL be harder to deal with social situations. And you may find it harder to catch those subtle social cues people do, and you may find yourself questioning those sayings that everyone else uses without a second thought. And if you're like me, you will pack a device of some kind to fidget with to clear your nerves on occasion. But note: It's -harder-. Not impossible. You're starting anything from five to five hundred thousand steps back from everyone else, and trust me, if you feel like having to work hard just to get to the same level as everyone else is a bad deal, I totally agree. The silver lining is: It's a damn better deal then the one where you just can't do it. And I know: Some people actually do have that deal. That deal where they just -can't- do the thing. Like I said at the start, this random advice might not apply to you, and if that's the reason why, then... well, there's not much I can think of to say, frankly speaking. I don't know how to handle that situation. Not right now, anyway. Still others may think I'm being over-positive about it. Frankly, for their particular situation, maybe I am. Again, if that's the case for you, I don't really have much to offer as a platitude, as one random person online typing about something so international and broad. If I've offended anyone with what I said, please take my word that it was never my intention. Ultimately it's just less-then-random babbling from someone on the spectrum who feels this stuff applies to themselves. But if you feel that the things I've said apply to you - as I feel they apply to me, and I feel astoundingly lucky to be able to say that - then take what I said and run with it. Work hard to do whatever it is you think your autism gets in the way of, whatever that may be. I'm not gonna lie and say it'll be easy. Trust me, it'll feel like a slog some days, it'll feel like banging your head against a brick wall others, and still other days you'll feel like it's not worth the effort. But it will be -possible.- Hard, but doable. So if they say you can't do it, well... They are wrong.